THIS IS A SPECIAL DAY!

JULY 25, AT 2:18 IN THE AFTERNOON WILL FOREVER BE ETCHED INTO MY MIND AND HEART.

ON THIS DAY, AT THAT TIME, THIRTY YEARS AGO, I RECEIVED ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS & TERRIFYING GIFTS I HAVE EVER RECEIVED.

I HAD TO WORK SO HARD FOR THIS SPECIAL AND UNIQUE GIFT, AND ENDURE GREAT PAIN AND WORRY. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT THIS WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

HOW COULD A GIFT SO SMALL AND PRECIOUS, STIR SUCH A FLOOD OF STRONG EMOTIONS. I LOVED THIS BLESSED GIFT IN I WAY I HAD NEVER LOVED BEFORE, I KNEW THAT I WOULD NEVER HAVE THESE EXACT FEELINGS EVER AGAIN. IT WAS ALL A BIT SURREAL. I FELT ELATED AND TERRIFIED ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

THIS SWEET LITTLE GIFT, FULFILLED MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD DREAMS. WITH THIS PRECIOUS GIFT CAME A MOST COVETED TITLE AND RESPONSIBILITY. I SUDDENLY FELT UNWORTHY OF SUCH A REMARKABLE AND TRULY SPECIAL GIFT.

I WANTED TO CHERRISH THIS GIFT, PROTECT AND NURTURE, ALWAYS GUARD AND KEEP THIS GIFT RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEART.

THIS CHERRISHED BEAUTIFUL GIFT, HAS GIVEN ME JOY, AND HAPPINESS BEYOND WHAT WORDS CAN DESCRIBE. EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST THIRTY YEARS.

TRULY, THIS WAS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTS I HAVE EVER RECEIVED. IT IS A SPECIAL GIFT, THAT KEEPS ON GIVING EVERYDAY.

SUCH A SPECIAL, UNIQUE AND PRECIOUS GIFT MUST BE SHARED. SO I HAVE. MY BEAUTIFUL, AMAZING GIFT HAS TOUCHED THE LIVES OF MANY. I FEEL BLESSED AND HONORED TO HAVE BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH THE HONOR AND CARE OF SUCH A RARE AND BEAUTIFUL GIFT, IT HAS BEEN MY PLEASURE TO SHARE MY GIFT WITH THE WORLD.

ON THIS DAY I GIVE THANKS TO MY HEAVENLY FATHER FOR GIVING ME ONE OF MY MOST BLESSED AND CHERRISHED GIFTS. MY FIRST SWEET LITTLE SPIRIT TO EVER GIVE ME THE HONOR OF MOTHERHOOD.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I COULD EVER EXPRESS, I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT YOU HAVE FELT AND KNOWN, WHAT A PRECIOUS GIFT YOU HAVE BEEN TO ME.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL!!!!

OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS GO OUT TO JASON AND HIS FAMILY

MAY YOU FEEL THE EMBRACE OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER'S LOVE

MAY YOUR FAITH SUSTAIN YOU THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME

MAY YOU FIND COMFORT IN YOUR CHERISHED MEMORIES

CRAZY EIGHTS

I WAS TAGGED BY HEATHER

EIGHT OF MY TRUE PASSIONS;

* MY FRIEND, SOUL MATE, LOVE OF MY LIFE (HUSBAND)
* PLAYING, LAUGHING AND SNUGGLING WITH THE GRANDCHILDREN
* FAMILY
* CHILD ADVOCACY
* READING & WRITING & LEARNING (TO ME THIS IS ALL ONE PASSION)
* DECORATING
* MUSIC & DANCE
* HOLIDAYS


EIGHT THINGS FROM MY BUCKET LIST;
(things would like to do, before "kicking" the bucket)

* LIVE CLOSER TO MY GRANDCHILDREN
* TRAVEL THE UNITED STATES
* VOLUNTEER/SERVICE WORK FOR CHILDREN
* SPEND ANOTHER 31 YRS. WITH MY HUSBAND
* DRIVE A DRAGSTER
* OWN A CHERRY CLASSIC MUSCLE CAR
* GO TO THE AIRPORT & GET ON THE NEXT PLANE ANY WHERE "SURPRISE"!
* TAKE A SPECIAL TRIP WITH EACH GRANDCHILD THE SUMMER THEY GRADUATE


EIGHT THINGS I SAY A LOT;


* I LOVE YOU
* SERIOUSLY
* I HATE NOT LIVING BY MY KIDS/GRANDKIDS
* AWESOME
* WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
* I HATE STUPID PEOPLE
* IT IS WHAT IT IS
* HOW CUTE

EIGHT BOOKS I HAVE READ LATELY;

* LIVE, LOVE, & LEARN
* LOOK WHAT LOVE HAS DONE
* THE WEDNESDAY LETTERS
* CONFESSIONS OF AN UBALANCED WOMAN
* STOP WHINING, START LIVING
* THE LAST LECTURE
* FLAT STANLEY
* THE SECRET TO TRUE HAPPINESS


EIGHT MOVIES I HAVE SEEN EIGHT TIMES; (MORE LIKE A FEW TIMES)

* THE CHRISTMAS STORY (THIS ONE I’VE PROBABLY SEEN EIGHT TIMES!)
* LADY & THE TRAMP (CAME CLOSE, WATCHING THIS WITH ADDISON)
* CINDERELLA
* SNOW WHITE
* BAMBI
* LITTLE MERMAID
* MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET
* POLAR EXPRESS


ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PLAY - TAG YOU'RE IT!

CONVERSATIONS WITH MY GRANDCHILDREN

I WENT TO UTAH FOR A FEW DAYS RECENTLY. I REALLY GOT TO SPEND SOME ONE ON ONE QUALITY TIME WITH MY LITTLE BUGS IN THEIR OWN INVIROMENT. WE HAD SOME DEEP AND MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS, HERE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITES.


CONVERSATIONS WITH AVERY;

(LET ME SET THE SCENE FOR YOU; IT IS ABOUT 6:45 A.M. THE BOYS AND I ARE ALREADY UP, THEIR PLAYING WITH TRANSFORMERS AND WATCHING CARTOONS, THIS IS ALL TAKING PLACE IN THE LIVING ROOM, WHICH IS ALSO MY BED ROOM WHILE I'M THERE. THEN I HEAR AVERY TALKING AND SINGING FROM HER BEDROOM, SO I GO IN TO GET HER, I'M GREETED BY A BIG SMILE AND A WELCOMING HUG, THEN THESE ARE THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF HER MOUTH)


{AVERY} "THE COWS ARE OUTSIDE".

{ME} "THEY ARE?, WELL THAT'S GOOD, THAT'S WHERE COWS BELONG".


(I CARRY HER AND HER BLANKETS, PILLOW AND BABIES INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND SET HER ON THE COUCH, SHE SNUGGLES IN THEN REACHES OVER AND PATS THE COUCH CUSHION NEXT TO HER, WANTING ME TO SIT THERE. SHE CHATS TO ME FOR A GOOD 5 MINUTES NON STOP, AT ABOUT 100 MPH, AS THOUGH WE WERE TWO LONG LOST GIRLFRIENDS WHO HADN'T SEEN EACH OTHER IN YEARS, AND THERE WAS JUST SO MUCH TO SAY AND GET CAUGHT UP ON, IT WAS SO ADORABLE. THEN SHE PAUSED FOR A BRIEF MOMENT BECAUSE SOMETHING ON THE TV CAUGHT HER ATTENTION. THEN, SHE WAS BACK)


{AVERY} "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOW, GWAMMA?"

WOW! I WAS TOTALLY ASTONISHED AND AMUSED BY THIS EXTREMELY GROWN UP QUESTION. WERE MY EARS PLAYING TRICKS ON ME? DID MY 2 1/2 YR. OLD GRAND-DAUGHTER REALLY JUST SAID THAT TO ME? I FELT AS THOUGH I WAS IN SOME FANTASTIC TIME MACHINE OR SOMETHING, AND WE HAD JUST FAST FORWARDED TO HER AS A TEENAGER AND I WAS THERE FOR A VISIT, TRYING TO CATCH UP ON ALL THE THINGS GOING ON IN HER LIFE SINCE WE LAST SPOKE. TALKING ABOUT LIFE AND LOVE, IN ONLY THE WAY [I HAD HOPED] A GRANDMOTHER AND GRAND-DAUGHTER WOULD DO. OK, WITH THE SPEED OF LIGHT, NOW I WAS TRANSPORTED BACK THROUGH TIME, TO THE PRESENT.

{ME} "WHAT DO I WANT TO TALK ABOUT NOW?" (LAUGHING, AND QUESTIONING, DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY)

{AVERY} "YEAH"

{ME} (WONDERING WHEN DID SHE GET SO GROWN UP?) "WELL, WE'VE TALKED ABOUT HANNAH MONTANA, PRINCESSES, SCOBBY DOO, CROCODILES, PENGUINS & COWS, SO HOW ABOUT SHOES".


{AVERY} "OK, SHOES "CUTES" (WITH THE BIGGEST SMILE ON HER FACE, LIKE MOST GIRLS SHE LOVES SHOES)

CONVERSATIONS WITH CAIDEN;

(LET ME SET THE SCENE FOR YOU. WE ARE IN THIS SMALL LITTLE COTTAGE STYLE HOME, THAT HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A FABRIC STORE IN THIS QUAINT LITTLE VILLAGE. THERE ARE TWO WOMAN WHO WORK THERE, PLUS ABOUT 10 OR SO CUSTOMERS, INCLUDING US. OK, SO WE ARE ALL IN PRETTY TIGHT QUARTERS. WE ARE GOING DOWN ONE ROW JUST GETTING READY TO ROUND THE CORNER.)

{HEATHER} ( QUIETLY ASKS) "AVERY DO YOU HAVE OOO BUTT?"

{AVERY} "NO, OOO BUTT"

(HEATHER CHECKING HER DIAPER IN DISBELIEF, BECAUSE THE AROMA IN THE AIR SAID OTHERWISE.)

{HEATHER} "OK, WHO IS FARTING? UGH, GASP, STOP IT RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE STINKING UP THE WHOLE STORE"

{BLAISE} "IT'S CAIDEN"

{HEATHER} "CAIDEN, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, IT REALLY REEKS."

(DISGUSTED, SHE THEN TAKES THE LEAD WITH AVERY AND ROUNDS THE CORNER FOLLOWED BY BLAISE THEN CAIDEN THEN ME. SO RIGHT AS CAIDEN ROUNDS THE CORNER.)

{CAIDEN} "MOM, IT'S NOT ME WHO IS FARTING IT'S GWANDMA"

(OK, SO RIGHT THEN, I AM THE ONLY ONE LEFT IN THIS ROW, AND I AM NOW GREETED BY A RATHER DISGUSTED LOOKING WOMAN, WHO JUST ROUNDED THE CORNER, SO SHE IS NOW ENTERING THE (HOLD YOUR NOSE, GAG ME, SOMETHING MUST HAVE DIED OVER HERE, STINK ZONE, AND YES, YOURS TRULY IS THE ONLY ONE OVER THERE, SO WHAT ELSE CAN SHE THINK EXCEPT THIS FOUL SMELL WHICH IS GAS MASK WORTHY, HAD TO BE COMING FROM ME)

{HEATHER} (LAUGHING) "NO CAIDEN, I DON'T THINK IT'S GRANDMA, I THINK IT'S YOU".

{CAIDEN} "NO, GWANDMA IS THE ONE WHO KEEPS FARTING, AND HER REALLY STINKS!" (TURNING BACK TO LOOK AT ME, AND WITH HIS FOOT UP IN THE AIR AND HIS LITTLE BUTT STICKING OUT, HE ACTS OUT) "FFFRRT, FFFRRT, THAT'S WHAT HER KEEPS DOING"

{ME} (LAUGHING, AND A BIT MORTIFIED BECAUSE OF THE LOOKS THESE WOMEN ARE GIVING ME) "HEY, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO IS FARTING, YOU BIG TEASE"

{CAIDEN} (WITH A DEVILISH MIKE MYERS FACE) "YES, YOU ARE"

(SO RIGHT AS HE IS SAYING ALL THIS, AND QUITE LOUDLY, I MUST SAY, A WOMAN ROUNDS THE CORNER AND IS ALMOST NOSE TO NOSE WITH US, AND SHE HAS JUST HEARD CAIDENS COMMENTS.)

(NOW I'M LAUGHING SO HARD THAT I HAVE TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY CHEEKS, AND I ALMOST PEED MY PANTS, NOW WOULDN'T THAT JUST BE THE ICING ON THE CAKE)

{HEATHER} "CAIDEN STOP BLAMING GRANDMA, AND NO MORE FARTING"

{CAIDEN} "BUT HER KEPT DOING THIS - FFFRT, FFFRT," (AGAIN ACTING OUT MAKING A FART WITH EVERY STEP)

{BLAISE} GIGGLE, GIGGLE, LAUGH, BUSTING A GUT!

(MAN I TELL YOU, THIS KID IS DRY CANADIAN HUMOR AT IT'S BEST, HE IS BRILLIANT, HE IS THIS COMEDIC GIANT IN THIS LITTLE BODY, THE ONLY TELL-TELL SIGN IS THAT IMPISH TWINKLE IN HIS EYE)

(NOW HEATHER AND I HAVE MADE EYE CONTACT, BOTH OF US HYSTERICAL, BOTH OF US SO IN LOVE WITH THIS TINY LITTLE FOUR YR. OLD, WHO HAS THE TIMING AND COMIC ABILITY TO RIVAL THE LIKES OF; JON HEDER, STEVE CARELL, WILL FERRELL, ADAM CAROLLA, MIKE MYERS, AND ADAM SADLER. HIS UNDERSTANDING OF THE "ART" OF TEASING FAR BEYOND HIS YEARS. WE MUST BOW TO THE MASTER!!!)

{HEATHER} (TRYING TO GAIN BACK CONTROL OF THE SITUATION, SINCE WE ARE IN PUBLIC) "OK, CAIDEN, NO MORE FARTING OR TALKING ABOUT FARTING"

CONVERSATIONS WITH BLAISE;

(NOW I DISCOVERED DURING THIS TRIP, THAT MY "LITTLE MAN" REALLY WAS TURNING INTO A LITTLE MAN, WE HAD MUCH MORE DEEP AND GROWN-UP TALKS)

{BLAISE} "GRANDMA HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO ORDER FROM THE LITTLE KIDS MENU?"

{ME} "MMMM, I'M NOT REALLY SURE, WE REALLY DIDN'T EAT OUT MUCH WHEN I WAS YOUNG, WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO EAT FROM THE LITTLE KIDS MENU ANY MORE?"

{BLAISE} "NO, I'M OLD ENOUGH NOT TOO, BUT I'M THE BIG BROTHER SO I STILL ORDER FROM IT SO CAIDEN WILL, BECAUSE HE ALWAYS WANTS TO DO THE SAME AS ME."

{ME} "WOW, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU, YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD BIG BROTHER"

{BLAISE} "YEAH, BECAUSE I'M OLDER BUT CAIDEN AND AVERY ARE STILL LITTLE"

{BLAISE} "GRANDMA HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN MAD AT MY MOM WHEN SHE WAS AN ADULT?"

(NOW I WAS A BIT TAKEN BACK AT THE DEPTH AND MATURITY OF THIS QUESTION. DEEP FOR AN 8 YR. OLD)

{ME} "YOU MEAN SINCE YOUR MOM HAS BEEN AN ADULT?"

{BLAISE} "YEAH"

{ME} "HMMM, THAT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION BLAISE, NO I DON'T THINK I'VE BEEN "MAD" AT HER, MAYBE THERE HAS BEEN TIMES WHEN I'VE BEEN UPSET WITH HER, THOUGH."

{BLAISE} "GRANDMA, NOW THAT I'M IN THIRD GRADE, MY BEDTIME WHEN SHCOOL STARTS WILL BE LIKE 9:00."

{ME} "WOW, THAT'S PRETTY LATE"

{BLAISE} YEAH, THEN WHEN I'M IN FOURTH GRADE IT WILL BE PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE 9:30, THEN 10:00 WHEN I'M IN FIFTH, THEN 10:30 WHEN I'M IN SIXTH, THEN PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE 11:00 AFTER THAT, THEN WHEN I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL, I PROBABLY WON'T EVEN HAVE A BED TIME ANY MORE.

{ME} "GRANDMA DOSEN'T EVEN STAY UP THAT LATE"

{BLAISE} "I THINK THAT'S BECAUSE YOU GET UP TOO EARLY"

{BLAISE} "DID MY MOM HAVE A BED TIME?"

{ME} "YES SHE DID"

{BLAISE} "WHAT TIME DID SHE HAVE TO GO TO BED?"

{ME} "WHEN SHE WAS YOUR AGE PROBABLY ABOUT 8:00 OR 8:30"

{BLAISE} "COULD SHE STAY UP LATER IF SHE DIDN'T BUG YOU"

{ME} (SMILING) "YEAH, I'M SURE IF SHE DIDN'T BUG ME, SHE GOT TO STAY UP A LITTLE LATER"

(THEN ONE DAY WHEN WE PICKED HIM UP FROM SOCCER PRACTICE, THEY'RE WERE SOME HIGH SCHOOL AGE GIRLS, WITH A KISSING BOOTH RAISING MONEY FOR SOMETHING. AS WE WALK BY BLAISE READS THE SIGN)

{BLAISE} "WHAT IS A KISSING BOOTH?"

{HEATHER & I} "WELL, THEY ARE TRYING TO EARN MONEY FOR SOMETHING, SO YOU PAY THEM SOME MONEY AND THEY WILL GIVE YOU A KISS"

{BLAISE} "WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GIVE THEM MONEY FOR A KISS?"

{ME} "WELL, BECAUSE THEY NEED THE MONEY FOR SOMETHING, AND THEY ARE HOPING THAT SOME BOY'S WILL WANT TO GET A KISS FROM THEM"

{HEATHER} "WOULD YOU GIVE THEM SOME MONEY FOR A KISS?"

{BLAISE} "NO"

{ME} "SILLY GIRLS, I GUESS THEY THINK IT'S A GOOD WAY TO EARN SOME MONEY"

{HEATHER} "WHY, DO YOU WANT TO HELP THEM AND GIVE THEM SOME MONEY?"

{BLAISE} "I WOULD JUST THROW THE MONEY ON THE TABLE AND THEN RUN AWAY, SO THEY COULDN'T KISS ME. I'M REAL FAST"

(AHHH, JUST WHAT WE WANTED TO HEAR, HE IS SWEET, AND HELPFUL, YET STILL NOT WILLING TO KISS A GIRL)

(OK, SO FAST FORWARD TO THAT NIGHT AT BED TIME, WHEN IT IS TIME TO GIVE HUGS AND KISSES AND SAY GOOD NIGHT)

{ME} "BLAISE GIVE ME A HUG AND KISS GOOD NIGHT"

{BLAISE} (VERY SLY LIKE, WHISPERING TO ME) "HEY GRANDMA, REMEMBER THOSE GIRLS TODAY AT SOCCER?"

{ME} "WHAT GIRLS?"

{BLAISE} "THE ONE'S WHO YOU PAY FOR A KISS" (WITH A DEVILISH FACE AND A GIGGLE)

ONE DAY JUST BLAISE AND I WENT TO TARGET, I HAD NO IDEA HOW TO GET THERE, AND I'M PRETTY SURE HEATHER WAS PURPOSELY TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID OR SOMETHING, BY GIVING ME REALLY CRAZY DIRECTIONS. IF BLAISE HADN'T OF BEEN GOING WITH ME, I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO GET RID OF ME FOR A WHILE, MMMM, THAT COULD HAVE STILL BEEN A POSIBILITY NOW THAT I THINK OF IT. SO ANYWAY, BLAISE WAS MY "TOM-TOM". HE GAVE ME PERFECT STEP BY STEP DIRECTIONS, EVEN THOUGH THERE WAS ROAD CONSTRUCTION AND DETOURS. WE MADE IT STRAIGHT THERE AND BACK, WITH NO MISS TURNS. I FOUND OUT ANOTHER DAY FROM HEATHER, THAT SHE WAS SHOCKED BECAUSE SHE NEVER GOES THE WAY HE TOOK ME, SO SHE HAD NO IDEA HOW HE EVEN KNEW TO TAKE ME THAT WAY. HE'S A GENIUS!

DURING OUR RIDE TO TARGET WE GOT TO DO A LOT OF TALKING AND CATCHING UP, THIS IS WHEN I REALIZED HOW GROWN UP, MY "LITTLE MAN" HAD BECOME. I THINK FOR NOW THOUGH, I AM GOING TO KEEP THOSE CONVERSATIONS TO MY SELF, LOCKED AWAY IN MY MIND AND FOREVER CHERISHED IN MY HEART.

BEST PHONE CALL OF THE DAY!

THIS MORNING WHILE AT WORK I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM MY DAUGHTER HEATHER, ON BEHALF OF MY GRAND-DAUGHTER AVERY. (NOT QUITE 3 YRS. OLD)
AHHH, WAY TO TUG AT GRANDMA'S HEART STRINGS.

IT SEEMED AVERY HAD BEEN IN A "FUNK" AND WAS BEING A "BIT" WHINEY, FOR A BIG PORTION OF THE MORNING. DESPITE ALL OF HER EFFORTS HEATHER COULD NOT GET HER OUT OF THIS FUNK. YOU SEE ONCE THIS GIRL GETS SOMETHING INTO HER HEAD, THERE IS NO GETTING IT OUT, SHE IS NOT EASILY SIDE TRACKED LIKE OTHER CHILDREN HER AGE. APPARENTLY, AVERY JUST KEPT REPEATING "GET MY GWAMMA", "I WANT GWAMMA". SHE WAS NOT GOING TO GIVE IT UP.

UNFORTUNATELY I LIVE IN EXCESS OF 500 MILES AWAY, SO I CAN'T JUST RUN OVER AND GIVE HER A BIG HUG AND KISS, LIKE I WOULD LOVE TO DO. SO HENCE THE PHONE CALL.

O.K. WHEN SHE FIRST GOT ON THE PHONE, SHE SOUNDED SO PITIFUL, SHE WAS JUST SO PATHETIC, IT MADE ME WANT TO CRY RIGHT ALONG WITH HER. BUT, AFTER A MINUTE OF ME ACTING TOTALLY SILLY (GOOD THING I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN THE OFFICE AT THE TIME) AND US CHATTING ABOUT, LIP SINGING TO HANNAH MONTANA, PRINCESSES, SHOES & CUTES, COWS, PENGUINS, THE SOUNDS A CHOMPING CROCKODILE MAKES, BARKING LIKE A DOG, GIVING HER KISSES OVER THE PHONE SO SHE WOULD FEEL BETTER, AND ALL THE LOVING AND ATTENTION, THAT ONLY A GRANDMA CAN DO. SHE HANDED THE PHONE BACK TO HER MOMMY AND SHE WAS OFF, SKIPPING AND LAUGHING & OF COURSE BARKING LIKE A DOG. IT TOTALLY MELTED MY HEART TO HEAR HER NOW LAUGHING AND GIGGLING AND OH SO HAPPY, AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ABLE TO DO THAT. (IT JUST DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT PEOPLE).

THANK YOU FOR THE PHONE CALL, IT MADE ME HAPPY AND I TOO HUNG UP LAUGHING AND GIGGLING, (HOWEVER, NOT BARKING LIKE A DOG) WHAT A GREAT DAY AT WORK. LOVE YOU BABY!

25 THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY DAD!

1. FAMILY FOREVER FOR ALWAYS AND NO MATTER WHAT
2. HONOR
3. COMPASSION
4. CHARITY
5. LOVE
6. TRUTH
7. CONTENTMENT
8. IMAGINATION
9. FOOTBALL
10. BASEBALL
11. BASKETBALL
12. ALWAYS ROOT FOR THE HOME TEAM
13. LOVE OF THE OUTDOORS
14. LANDSCAPING
15. WORK HARD, PLAY HARD
16. ENJOY LIFE
17. HOW TO MAKE LEOMONADE,
18. BED TIME STORIES "UNSCRIPTED"
19. FOLLOW MY; HEART, PASSION, DREAMS
20. WALKS
21. FUNNY SAYINGS
22. ICE CREAM CONES MEAN "I LOVE YOU"
23. HOW TO BUILD A TIKI HUT
24. HOW TO ENJOY THE SIMPLE THINGS IN LIFE
25. HOW TO BE HAPPY

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

TO ALL THE WONDERFUL MEN IN MY LIFE, HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

MY DAD (FOREVER IN MY HEART), MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND (I LOVE YOU, YOU ROCK MY WORLD), MY TWO SWEET SON IN LAWS (YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME), MY GRANDFATHER (FOR YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR, AND SHARING YOUR LOVE OF MUSIC & HAWAII) , MY FATHER IN LAW (FOR RAISING ONE OF MY GREATEST BLESSINGS), MY BROTHER (FOR ALWAYS BEING "THE BIG BROTHER"), MY UNCLES, MY NEPHEWS, MY COUSINS, MY DEAR FRIENDS,
TO ALL FATHER'S EVERY WHERE.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T !!!!

YOU KNOW YOUR LIFE HAS REALLY TAKEN A DOWN HILL TURN WHEN. . . . . . .

YOU HAVE BEEN DISHED BY A . . . . . . .

FEMBOT!!!

I WAS TRYING TO PAY OUR FLOOD INSURANCE VIA THE PHONE THE OTHER DAY. YEAH, YOU READ THAT RIGHT "FLOOD" INSURANCE, EVEN THOUGH I LIVE IN THE FREAKIN' MOHAVE DESERT. BELIEVE ME, THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY, WHICH I WILL BLOG ABOUT SOMEDAY, ON HOW FOR TWO YEARS I HAVE TRIED TO FIGHT "THE MAN" ON THIS.

CALL # 1

SO I START OUT BY CALLING MY INSURANCE AGENT, WHEN THE NICE YOUNG MAN ANSWERED THE PHONE, AT FIRST I THOUGHT, OH HOW CUTE, IT MUST BE BRING YOUR CHILD TO WORK DAY, AND THEY ARE LETTING HIM ANSWER THE PHONES, BUT NO, HE APPARENTLY ONLY SOUNDED 12. ANYWAY, SHAUN (IF THAT REALLY IS YOUR REAL NAME) PROCEEDS TO INFORM ME THAT THEY CANNOT TAKE THE PAYMENT FOR FLOOD INS. THAT I WILL HAVE TO CALL ANOTHER NUMBER FOR THAT. SO I THANK HIM, HANG UP AND DIAL THE NUMBER HE GAVE ME.

CALL # 2

THIS CALL WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS; YOU GET A RECORDING, A "FEMBOT" THAT AFTER THANKING YOU FOR CALLING THEM, TELLS YOU IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE THAT IF YOU SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE TO PRESS THE #8, IT THEN INFORMS YOU THAT TO PROVIDE FOR BETTER CUSTOMER SERVICE NOW AND IN THE FUTURE YOUR CALL MAY BE RECORDED. OK, NOW WE ARE GETTING SOME WHERE, THE FEMBOT THEN TELLS ME TO SPEAK WHY I AM CALLING SO SHE CAN SEND ME TO THE CORRECT DEPARTMENT. SO I SAY "MAKE A PAYMENT" AFTER A FEW MORE ROUNDS WITH THE FEMBOT AND REPEATING MYSELF ABOUT SIX TIMES
{ME} "LET ME TALK TO A REAL PERSON SO I CAN MAKE A PAYMENT". (THEY HAVE REDUCED ME TO YELLING AT A RECORDING)
{ME} I WANT TO TALK TO A REAL LIVE PERSON (NOW, HAVING QUITE THE HISSY FIT)
{THE FEMBOT} OK, I WILL TRANSFER YOU. (AND WITH A LOT OF ATTITUDE, FROM A RECORDING NO LESS) WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO!

TRANSFER #1

I'M PUT THROUGH TO "INDIA" I GUESS, BECAUSE I FEEL AS THOUGH I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH "APU" FROM THE SIMPSON'S ABOUT SLURPEE'S OR SOMETHING. OUR CONVERSATION WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS;
{HIM} BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
{ME} I'M SORRY CAN YOU PLEASE REPEAT THAT, I DIDN'T CATCH IT
{HIM} BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, YADA, YADA, YADA,
{ME} OK YES, MY POLICY NUMBER IS XXXXXXXXXX,
{HIM} NO, NO, THAT'S NOT IT (WITH QUITE AN ATTITUDE)
{ME} OK, LET'S TRY THAT ONE MORE TIME XXXXXXXXXX.
{HIM} NO, THAT'S NOT IT (NOW WITH AN ANNOYED TONE)
{ME} DON'T TELL ME NO, THAT'S NOT IT, I'M GIVING IT TO YOU DIRECTLY FROM MY POLICY THAT YOUR COMPANY SENT TO ME! (ALSO WITH AN ANNOYED TONE)
{HIM} IT IS ONLY A 9 DIGIT NUMBER, NOT A 10 DIGIT NUMBER (LIKE YOU'RE AN IDIOT, WHY DO I GET ALL THE STUPID WOMEN).
{ME} OK, THEN YOU DECIDE WHICH NUMBER TO LEAVE OUT (WHY DO I GET ALL THE IDIOTS, I HATE PEOPLE).
{HIM} WHAT IS YOUR PHONE NUMBER,
{ME} XXX-XXX-XXXX,
{HIM} NO, THAT'S NOT IT!
{ME} SIR, I DO KNOW MY OWN PHONE NUMBER.
{HIM} WELL, THAT IS NOT BRINGING IT UP EITHER, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER NUMBER?
{ME} UMMM, I THINK, I WOULD KNOW WHAT NUMBER WE GAVE WHEN WE SET THIS POLICY UP, BUT OK, I'LL PLAY ALONG, IF IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AND WE CAN MOVE ON, MY CELL NUMBER XXX-XXX-XXXX
{HIM} NO THAT'S NOT IT EITHER, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GIVING ME THE CORRECT NUMBERS?
WELL, IT WAS ABOUT THIS POINT IN TIME THAT MY WONDERFUL CELL PHONE DECIDED TO..., YES IT DID! IT DROPPED THE CALL! JUST GREAT!

CALL # 3

OK, SO I CALL BACK, HAVE MY SAME FIVE MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH THE FEMBOT, SEE; CALL # 2 ABOVE,

TRANSFER # 2

I GET PUT THROUGH;

ONCE AGAIN TO SOME WHERE IN INDIA, IT MUST BE A SMALL PLACE, BECAUSE NOW I'M PRETTY SURE I'M TALKING TO THE FIRST GUYS WIFE!

{HER} WHAT IS YOUR POLICY #
(I'M THINKING, OH BROTHER, HERE WE GO AGAIN.)
{ME} XXXXXXXXXX (WITH SURETY, BECAUSE IT IS ON THE PAPER WORK
I RECEIVED FROM THEM, AND I HAVE IT RIGHT IN MY HAND, AND I'M LOOKING RIGHT AT IT)
{HER} EXACTLY WHAT IS THIS POLICY FOR?
{ME} OUR FLOOD INSURANCE
{HER} OH, THIS IS NOT THE CORRECT DEPARTMENT FOR THAT, WE CAN NOT HELP YOU WITH THAT, LET ME GIVE YOU ANOTHER NUMBER, PLEASE HOLD WHILE I GET THAT NUMBER FOR YOU.
{HER} YOU WILL NEED TO CALL XXX-XXX-XXXX
{ME} OK (SERIOUSLY, ARE YOU KIDDING ME)
SO I HANG UP AND DIAL THE NUMBER SHE GAVE ME.

CALL # 4

THIS CALL WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS;

{NICE WOMEN AT THE OTHER END OF THE LINE} HELLO THANK YOU FOR CALLING BLAH, BLAH, COLLEGE.
{ME} OH, I MUST HAVE DIALED THE WRONG NUMBER (DUMBFOUNDED) CAN I JUST VERIFY WITH YOU, DID I DIAL XXX-XXX-XXXX (FEELING QUITE STUPID, LIKE MAYBE MR. INDIA WAS RIGHT, MAYBE I AM STUPID, I CAN'T EVEN DIAL A PHONE NUMBER CORRECTLY)
{HER} YES, THAT IS THE NUMBER YOU DIALED, ARE YOU TRYING TO REACH ---------- INSURANCE? (SHE ASKED SO POLITELY)
{ME} YES, I AM (PUZZLED, OK, SO I'M THINKING MAYBE THIS USED TO BE THE INSURANCE COMPANIES NUMBER AND NOW THESE POOR PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ASSIGNED IT, BUT OH NO, IT APPEARS THAT THE INSURANCE CO. HAS AN INCORRECT NUMBER IN THEIR SYSTEM AND THEY MIS-DIRECT ALL THEIR CLIENTS TO THESE POOR PEOPLE).
{ME} WOW, I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE THE INSURANCE COMPANY PAY 1/2 YOUR SALARY FOR ANSWERING THEIR CALLS FOR THEM.

CALL # 5

OK, SOOOO THIS CALL, WENT A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS;

FIRST SEE; CALL # 2 ABOVE BACK TO THE FEMBOT!

TRANSFER # 3

NOW QUITE AGGITATED,
{ME} I'M TRYING TO PAY MY FLOOD INSURANCE BILL,
{HER} (NOT FROM INDIA THIS TIME) OK, LET ME GIVE YOU THAT NUMBER
{ME} SOMEONE ELSE JUST DID THAT, AND I HAD A LOVELY CONVERSATION WITH A LADY AT SOME COLLEGE, SO IF THE NUMBER YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME IS XXX-XXX-XXXX, DON'T, IT'S THE WRONG NUMBER.
{HER} SORRY ABOUT THAT, NO THE NUMBER IS XXX-XXX-XXXX
(NOW STRANGELY ENOUGH, THIS NUMBER IS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE LAST NUMBER I WAS GIVEN). OY-VAY!

CALL # 6

(THE FEMBOT, AGAIN) SEE CALL # 2 ABOVE

TRANSFER # 4

{ME} I'M TRYING TO PAY MY FLOOD INSURANCE, WHICH I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO HAVE FLOOD INSURANCE, BEFORE IT GET'S CANCELED, AND THE LENDER PUTS IT ON AND CHARGES ME ALMOST DOUBLE. (QUITE EXASBERATED).
{HER} OH, I'M SORRY MA'AM, WE ARE NOT SET UP TO TAKE YOUR PAYMENTS OVER THE PHONE, YOU WILL NEED TO DO THAT WITH YOUR INSURANCE AGENT.
(OK, ARE YOU FREAKING KIDING ME!)

SEE CALL # 1

CALL # 7 (BACK TO THE BEGINNING, MY INSURANCE AGENT, X*?@!!!)

{HER} THANK YOU FOR CALLING ALLSTATE INSURANCE, THIS IS STEPHANIE HOW MAY I HELP YOU? (SHE AT LEAST DOSEN'T SOUND 12, NO, MORE LIKE 13)
{ME} (WITH MUCH ATTITUDE - I YET ONCE AGAIN EXPLAIN MY WHOLE SAGA TO HER.
{HER} YOU WILL NEED TO CALL THE FLOOD UNDERWRITER DIRECTLY TO MAKE THAT PAYMENT.
{ME} (NOW TOTALLY LOOSING MY COOL) STEPHANIE, WAS IT?
{HER} YES
{ME} OK, LISTEN CAREFULLY, YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW YOU ARE GOING TO TAKE MY PAYMENT, BECAUSE THE FLOOD PEOPLE SAID IT'S UP TO YOU GUYS, YOU ARE MY AGENTS, SO START EARNING SOME OF THE MONEY YOU MAKE, BY ME GIVING YOU MY BUSINESS, I'M SERIOUSLY ABOUT TO TOTALLY LOOSE IT OVER THIS WHOLE FLOOD INSURANCE ANYWAY!
{HER} (I'M SURE FEARING FOR HER LIFE) OK, LET ME SEE WHAT I CAN DO, AND I'LL CALL YOU BACK IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES.

CALL # 8

I DID RECEIVE A CALL BACK FROM HER ABOUT 20 MINUTES LATER, SHE ASKED FOR ALL MY PAYMENT INFORMATION, WHICH I GAVE TO HER OVER THE PHONE. (ALL MY CREDIT CARD INFO). SHE SAID SHE WOULD GET IT PAID, THEN CALL ME BACK. NOW, SILLY ME, I THOUGHT THAT MEANT SHE WAS GOING TO CALL ME BACK WITH MY CONFIRMATION NUMBER, OR SOME OTHER FORM OF PROOF THAT I COULD SHOW TO THE LENDER, TO KEEP THEM FROM ADDING IT ON TO MY LOAN PAYMENT. NO, WRONG AGAIN.

CALL # 9

{HER} OK, MA'AM, YOUR FLOOD PAYMENT HAS BEEN MADE FOR THE YEAR.
{ME} THANK YOU, WHAT IS MY CONFIRMATION NUMBER?
{HER} WHAT?
{ME} I REPEAT, WHAT IS MY CONFIRMATION NUMBER?
{HER} I DIDN'T GET ANYTHING LIKE THAT
{ME} OK, THEN WHAT DO I HAVE AS PROOF THAT I JUST AUTHORIZED $1,200.00 ON MY CREDIT CARD TO PAY MY FLOOD INSURANCE THAT I NEED TO PROVE TO MY LENDER HAS BEEN PAID. (WITH QUITE A BIT OF 'TUDE).
{HER} UMMM, I DON'T KNOW
{ME} CAN YOU AT LEAST SEND ME A EMAIL CONFIRMING THIS TRANSACTION? ALSO YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU SEND THE INFORMATION TO MY LENDER, WITH PROOF THAT OUR FLOOD INSURANCE WITH YOU IS IN FORCE. (A LITTLE BIT CALMER THIS TIME).
{HER} YEAH, I GUESS I CAN DO THAT?
{ME} GREAT, THANK YOU

NOW NOT ONLY DID I NEVER RECIEVE THE EMAIL FROM THEM, EVEN THOUGH MY BANK DID SHOW THE TRANSACTION TAKEN OUT OF MY CHECKING ACCOUNT. THEY ALSO NEVER SENT VERIFICATION TO THE LENDER, SO YEP, YOU GUESSED IT, THEY TOO PLACED FLOOD INSURANCE ON THE PROPERTY AND CHARGED IT TO MY ACCOUNT.

WHY, OH WHY, MUST EMPLOYERS HIRE TEENAGERS, AND/OR OTHER EMPLOYEE'S WHO REALLY DON'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THEIR JOB, THEY ARE JUST MORE CONCERNED WITH GOING TO THE COOL NEW EMO CLUB THIS WEEKEND! ! !

NOW, ROUND TWO WITH IDIOTS AND FEMBOT'S! ! !

OK, I KNOW THIS WAS A WAY LONG POST, BUT I REALLY JUST HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST! SO KUDO'S TO THOSE OF YOU WHO ACTUALLY MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH, THERE WILL BE A LITTLE SOMETHING EXTRA IN YOUR STOCKING THIS YEAR AT CHRISTMAS. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO JUST SKIMMED OVER, I'LL RETURN THE FAVOR SOME DAY ON YOUR BLOG, AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO TOTALLY GAVE UP AFTER THE THIRD PARAGRAPH, (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, DON'T MAKE ME NAME NAMES) WELL CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU FOR HAVING A REAL LIFE, WITH NO TIME ON YOUR HANDS TO READ REALLY LONG, POSTS.