Sad but True

Man, I am so out of shape!

If I wasn't so worried about my health and committed to doing something about it, I would be completely embarrassed to relate the following.

But you're all Family or Friends right, and who better to find support from. Who knows, maybe I will even be the motivation for someone else to get out and do something they need to do, or should do, but just haven't.

Okay, so Monday night we (the hubby & I) started a
"get off our butt's and do something about it walking program".

So I swear about 10 or 15 steps, um, I mean yards into it my hips hurt so bad, I wanted to cry, then another 10 or 15 yards more and the pain had spread to my knees, well during the walk, my asthma kicked in "BIG" time, my lungs hurt, I could not believe the extreme pain I was feeling pretty much from head to toe, I had to keep telling my self, "yes, it would be very sad if I stopped where I was and made him walk back to the house, get the car and come pick me up". I was having a pep rally in my own head, GO, GIRL, YOU CAN DO IT! Just a little bit further. Fight through the pain, think of the victory.

As we came around the corner of our street, and I could see our house I was just praying, I would be able to make it to the house. My legs felt so, so heavy, I could barely pick them up, I was literally shuffling along. But, I made it. Woo Hoo, about a Mile, walked with no stopping. Yippee, Man am I pathetic. If I wasn't in so much physical pain, I would have noticed the mental pain, of how MAD I was at myself, and how sad it was that this is how I felt after just a mile, of walking. Oh, so very aggravating, disappointing, and just down right embarrassing.

Can you say "P a t h e t i c LOOSER"!!!!!

That night by the time I went to bed, I thought I was dying and almost hoping I would. Even my arms hurt like heck, What is up with that? My back hurt, my legs hurt, every joint in my body was screaming with pain, I was suffering from muscle cramps all over my body, twitching, spasms, and PAIN, this continued all night long, it was so bad I couldn't even sleep. Trying to get out of bed to pee was agonizing. What had I done! I'm pretty sure this is what it would feel like to be hit by a freight train. Except then I would surely end up in the hospital, with some wonderful pain killing drug running through my I.V. with nurses waiting on me hand and foot.

{Back to Reality}

The next day I feel like I just competed in an Iron Man event. (all because of one measly mile, sigh)

So Tuesday night rolls around and the Hubby gets out the flash light, oh, man, I know what that means. My "I Love Lucy" mode kicks in, head slightly tilted, eyes rapidly moving back and forth searching the dark corners of my mind, T H I N K, let's see I could tell him I'm sick {cough, hack, sniff} yeah he would buy that, right? Or maybe "I have to get some work done, so sorry babe I just can't go tonight".

Ok, about that moment in time a scene from the movie "moonstruck"with Cher and Nicolas Cage, pops into my head, {S L A P !!! across the face, "Snap out of it"!}

Much to my surprise, during this walk it took quite a bit longer before my hips started hurting, I think we were at least about half way, and my knees, well that pain was almost tolerable this time, lots of heavy and labored breathing, bit of an asthma flair up, but NO asthma attack, and Hubby said my pace was quicker this time around. Yay for me!!!

Now don't get me wrong, I still worried if I was going to make it all the way or not, but we pushed on, again walking about a mile with no stopping, I was extremely glad when we rounded the corner and I could see our house, and I was actually stepping, no shuffle, I felt less heaviness in my legs.

So I'm hoping tonight as bed time is approaching, it goes a bit better with the pain, cramps and spasms, and that tomorrow I feel as though I was just hit by a bus, instead of a freight train. Then maybe, just maybe, in about a month or so, I will actually look forward to our walks, and stop trying to come up with reasons in my head, why I can't do it.

So, cross your fingers for me, and if you want, you can even become one of my cheerleaders, I have a feeling I am going to need it.

I Have to do this,
I Must do this,
I Will do this!
I might stumble along the way, but, I don't want to give up.